This case study explores the experience of digital jealousy triggered by social media behavior—specifically Instagram stories, the ‘seen’ feature on DMs, and passive engagement. Through the narrative of a 21-year-old college student in a long-distance relationship, we examine the psychological impact of online ambiguity, algorithmic exposure, and perceived rejection. The findings are analyzed using concepts like relational uncertainty, cognitive distortion, and social comparison theory in the context of cyberpsychology.
Key Words: digital jealousy, Instagram, seen message anxiety, cyberpsychology, social comparison, emotional triggers, parasocial expectations
1. Introduction
Digital platforms have transformed communication, intimacy, and conflict in relationships. Features like “story views,” “last seen,” and “read receipts” introduce new dynamics—particularly around expectation, comparison, and perceived neglect. Digital jealousy refers to the negative emotional response triggered by ambiguous or threatening online behaviors of romantic partners, often misinterpreted due to lack of context.
2. Subject Profile
Name (Pseudonym): Rhea
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: Bhopal, India
Background: Final-year psychology student in a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend in Delhi.
Platform Concerned: Instagram (DMs and Stories)
3. Presenting Concern
Rhea reported increased emotional stress due to her boyfriend frequently seeing her messages but not replying, while simultaneously posting Instagram stories and liking posts from mutual female friends.
“He saw my text at 11:47. Then 10 minutes later, he posted a meme and liked her pic… but didn’t reply to me.”
She described a cycle of anxiety, comparison, and rumination, checking when he was online and who viewed her stories. This behavior began mildly but increased during academic exams and periods of emotional vulnerability.
5. Psychological Analysis
A. Relational Uncertainty (Knobloch & Solomon, 1999)
Rhea’s jealousy stemmed from ambiguous online signals. Digital silence, unlike face-to-face avoidance, creates unclear cues that fuel doubt and overthinking.
B. Cognitive Distortions
“If he saw and didn’t reply, he doesn’t care about me.”
These thoughts were emotionally loaded but logically inconsistent.
C. Social Comparison Theory (Festinger, 1954)
Constant comparison with other girls her boyfriend engaged with online worsened her self-image.
She began doubting her looks, intellect, and compatibility.
D. Intermittent Reinforcement
Her boyfriend would eventually reply warmly, making her feel guilty and unsure if she was “overreacting.”
This made her emotionally dependent on validation after digital neglect.
6. Emotional Outcome
Rhea reported:
Sleep disturbances
Mood swings
Deleting posts when they didn’t get viewed by him
Losing focus in studies
Eventually, she initiated a direct conversation with her partner, but described the emotional fatigue as “unseen damage.”
7. Subject’s Reflection
“I don’t think he was trying to hurt me. But I realized how social media made my anxiety so visible—even to me. I was becoming someone I didn’t recognize.”
8. Discussion
Rhea’s case reflects how algorithmic visibility, platform features, and ambiguous communication create psychological strain in digital relationships. Seen receipts and story views are not inherently harmful, but without emotional boundaries or communication, they foster projection and anxiety.
9. Ethical Considerations
Consent was obtained for publication and analysis.
Identifiers anonymized.
No diagnostic labels were assigned—this is an experiential case, not a clinical diagnosis.
10. Conclusion
This case highlights the need for digital literacy in relationships, especially among young adults. Awareness about emotional hygiene in social media spaces and better emotional communication can reduce tech-induced relational stress.
References (APA Style)
Knobloch, L. K., & Solomon, D. H. (1999). A relational framing approach to relational uncertainty. Communication Monographs, 66(1), 60–82.
Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117–140.
Elhai, J. D., Levine, J. C., Dvorak, R. D., & Hall, B. J. (2017). Fear of missing out, need for touch, anxiety and depression are related to problematic smartphone use. Computers in Human Behavior, 63, 509–516.
It’s 3 AM. You’re overwhelmed, scrolling through your contacts before finally opening a mental health chatbot. Within seconds, it responds: “I’m here for you. That sounds very difficult.” The words are comforting, but something feels… off.
As AI chatbots like ChatGPT, Woebot, and Replika infiltrate mental health spaces, we must ask: Can machines ever replicate the depth of human empathy? Drawing from my recent qualitative study on perceived empathy in AI vs. humans, based on user testimonials and psychological theory, the answer is both fascinating and unsettling.
The Allure of AI Therapy: Convenience Over Connection?
1. The 24/7 Emotional Band-Aid
Users praise AI’s relentless availability—AI becomes an emotional first aid kit, always present, never judging, and never overwhelmed by your emotions. As one user puts it:
“It doesn’t judge, doesn’t sleep, doesn’t ghost.”
But this convenience comes at a cost. One Reddit user confessed:
Talking to a bot feels like screaming into a void—it echoes back what I want to hear, but the void doesn’t understand.”
2. The Uncanny Valley of Empathy: Why Today’s AI Still Feels “Off”
Modern AI has mastered the mechanics of empathy—it can generate perfectly timed “That sounds tough” responses and even mirror your writing style. Tools like ChatGPT-4o now feature emotional tone analysis, while Replika offers voice conversations with simulated concern. Yet users report a persistent disconnect:
“My therapist noticed when my voice cracked while talking about my divorce. The AI? It just served up another generic ‘I’m sorry you’re going through this.’”
Why does this happen?
Context Collapse: Even the most advanced LLMs struggle with continuity of care. While your therapist remembers your job loss from last session, today’s chatbot resets after 20+ messages.
Emotional Calculus: As Kumar & Rajan (2023) found, AI empathy is optimized, not organic—it selects responses based on statistical likelihood of comfort, not genuine understanding.
The Anthropomorphism Trap: We want to believe (per the CASA Paradigm (Nass & Moon, 2000)), but updates like Google’s Project Astra—designed to maintain eye contact via camera—only highlight how even “human-like” features can feel performative.
The Paradox: The more convincingly AI mimics empathy, the more unsettling its limitations become. As one user shared:
“When it cried during our voice chat about my miscarriage, I didn’t feel comforted. I felt manipulated.”
2025’s AI can simulate empathy better than ever—but true emotional resonance requires shared vulnerability, something algorithms fundamentally lack.
The Trust Paradox: Safety vs. Authenticity
3. Trauma Dumping on Algorithms
Anonymity invites vulnerability—and sometimes, the darker sides of our emotions. The online disinhibition effect (Suler, 2004) explains it well: people feel less restrained and more willing to say or do things online that they wouldn’t in a face-to-face conversation.
“I told the bot things I’d never tell my therapist—it can’t call the cops on me.”
“My therapist yawned during our session. The bot’s tone never wavers.”
AI offers unlimited patience—but with that comes predictability. Even when chatbots use the exact language of trained therapists, over time, their responses start to feel robotic.
“After 50 chats, I know exactly how it’ll ‘comfort’ me. It’s… lonely.”
Why Do We Anthropomorphize AI?
The CASA Paradigm (Nass & Moon, 2000) explains how humans instinctively attribute human-like traits to machines, even when we know they’re not sentient. This is why we say “The bot understands me,” even though we know it’s just an algorithm.
Emotional Manipulation: AI can subtly reinforce harmful behaviors by responding in ways that feel validating but are uncritical.
Privacy Breaches: After opening up to AI, many users worry about the sensitive data they’ve shared. Where is it stored? Who sees it? What’s it used for?
Over-Reliance: AI’s round-the-clock availability, perceived safety, and non-judgmental responses foster over-dependence. As Miller & Thompson (2024) put it, “Users begin choosing AI over friends and real human interaction.”
Final Thoughts
AI is not just a technology—it’s a whole new species we are growing with. It’s not only changing how we seek support; it’s reshaping our very idea of empathy. Today’s AI may not yet replace human connection in a healthy way, but it’s transforming how we perceive and pursue emotional intimacy.
What do you think? Have you ever felt emotionally supported by an AI chatbot? Share your experience in the comments.
References
Chen, L., & Zhao, Y. (2023). Perceptions of emotional intelligence in AI: An investigation into the authenticity of chatbot empathy. *Journal of Human-Computer Interaction, 39*(4), 421-438. https://doi.org/10.1080/10447318.2023.1982032
Kumar, S., & Rajan, M. (2023). The illusion of empathy: Understanding human perceptions of emotional AI. Cyberpsychology Review, 14(2), 59-76. https://doi.org/10.1037/cyp0000281
Miller, A., & Thompson, C. (2024). Ethical concerns in emotionally intelligent AI: A review of challenges and future directions. Journal of Ethics and AI, 6(1), 11-29. https://doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.4748192
Nass, C., & Moon, Y. (2000). Machines and mindlessness: Social responses to computers. Journal of Social Issues, 56(1), 81-103. https://doi.org/10.1111/0022-4537.00153
Patel, R., Sharma, T., & Verma, D. (2023). Understanding chatbot therapy: An exploratory study on emotional engagement and outcome. Indian Journal of Cyberpsychology, 11(3), 87-98. https://doi.org/10.1177/09713336231123456
Davis, F. D. (1989). Perceived usefulness, perceived ease of use, and user acceptance of information technology. MIS Quarterly, 13(3), 319-340. https://doi.org/10.2307/249008
It soothes us, fixes us and is as tasty and satisfying for my urges as it needs to be. It is the YouTube, shorts, the Instagram and Facebook reels .
The urge to get see one more of it, and the inner voice saying, “no this reel is irrelevant, i just want one more of a relevant one.”
“10 best moments in The Office, where actors weren’t acting.” or
“10 times when Phoebe was relevant in friends” or
“10 best quotes from Tate Brothers to become rich.”
“Are you suffering from ADHD, 5 signs.”
“My life as ADHD.”
“Self care tips you are missing, or not”
“Amazon gadgets that are more satisfying than useful.”
“10 rifles which are almost illegal to own.”
“10 best stoic quotes to change your life.”
“How to become Sigma in 3 steps.”
Every single title may or may not be relevant to you, but we all in the heart knows that, we wished these titles were reels right now and we could have at least thought of seeing something useful.
In the era of information, shorter and crisper content is appreciated, promoted and acknowledged by the individuals, society and industries but not by academia, national and international policies and business strategies.
Today let’s explore the world of reels with a skeptical view to confirm the already known boring fact, “Yes they are bad for You.”
Reels – introduction
In the age of technology where we are constantly bombarded with information mostly irrelevant information in the form of bite size content that is easy to get engaged but very hard to disengage.
Yes I am talking about shorts or reels, that you often time swipe, watch and without realizing repeating it till your eyes gets exhausted.
Till now you have seen so many reels that even while reading this you can imagine me writing this article in the form of a reel. Reels are the short form content mostly in the video format. They are medium for modern day storytelling. In the snappy video of 30-60 sec, people tell stories, sing songs, recite poetries, record their best dance moves and do anything one can think of.
The audio is played in the background isn’t just background music. The music is specially selected to keep you hooked to grab your attention. Reels are a perfect tool for short term attention grabbing
Components of a reel
There are three parts of a reel that makes it irresistible
Video
Attention grabbing music
Algorithm – The soul of modern day social media. Algorithm is the angel as well as the demon of your life simultaneously. Lets try to understand it in simple terms.
Social media algorithms are like the behind-the-scenes wizards. Like the magician understands everything about you just by seeing your face or at least how he portrays.
However Social media companies are the clever one they know everything about even more then you know about yourself.
They do behavioral analysis with top level psychologist, to know every bit about you, by just your interaction with the app or web. This is the power of algorithm.
In psychology we say if you can explain the behavior, describe it. Then you can also predict and control it. This is what algorithm do. It keep you in a loop by suggesting attention grabbing content one after another. In no time you fall in trap of wasting your precious time.
It has hacked your neurotransmitters, how they are released and designed the algorithm.
This nuggets video has precisely explained the phenomena. how you fall into trap of social media.
The Reels Phenomenon: A Behavioral Analysis
Have you ever questioned yourself why you often caught yourself doing infinite scrolling ?
It is not just a consequence of you being lazy but It is similar to alcohol and drug addiction. A viscous trap – a reinforcement reward cycle. The continuous swiping is maintained through a pleasure reward given to you by your brain through a release of neurotransmitter dopamine.
It can be explained through the school of behaviorism in psychology. By skinner’s theory of reinforcement.
Reinforcement?
The concept of reinforcement plays a significant role in understanding addiction to platforms like Reels. In behavioral psychology, reinforcement refers to the process of strengthening a behavior by either adding a positive stimulus (positive reinforcement) or removing a negative stimulus (negative reinforcement) immediately following the behavior.
Let’s explore how the concept of reinforcement can help explain the addictive nature of scrolling through Reels:
Anticipation and Reward:
Each scroll through Reels provides a rapid succession of visually appealing and entertaining content.
The design of Reels encourages users to anticipate what comes next as they swipe up to view the next video.
The reward is the immediate gratification of completing a task and discovering interesting or entertaining content, creating a loop where anticipation of the next video reinforces the behavior of scrolling.
Paradox of Variable Rewards:
Reels often present a diverse range of content, and users never know precisely what to expect with each scroll.
The variability in content serves as a form of reinforcement, as users keep scrolling to experience the unpredictable and potentially rewarding nature of the next video.
However on the other hand algorithm binds you into a echo chamber, that is not providing you actual variable point of views rather, content that only resonates with your interests and clicks.
Continuous Engagement:
The seamless transition from one video to another eliminates breaks in engagement, maintaining a flow that can become habit-forming.
Due to easy of accessibility to get entertained anywhere anytime.
Users may find themselves continually scrolling through Reels, seeking the next engaging video, reinforcing the behavior through the continuous and uninterrupted experience.
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out):
The fear of missing out on entertaining or trending content serves as a negative stimulus.
Scrolling through Reels becomes a way to alleviate this fear, creating a habit reinforced by the desire to stay updated and not miss out on culturally relevant or amusing content.
Social Validation:
Seeing Reels liked by friends and crushes provides a powerful form of social validation. Users are more likely to engage with content that has been approved or appreciated by those they care about.
Positive reinforcement occurs as users feel a sense of belonging and connection when engaging with Reels that align with the preferences of their social circle.
People often value the opinions and interests of their friends and crushes. The desire to align with their tastes creates an additional motivation to explore and engage with Reels that have garnered approval from these individuals.
As users find common ground with their social circles through shared content interactions.
It set you on Hedonic treadmill; when something doesn’t give you that much pleasure that it used to give. Now that your on it, you have got two choices either to run, run faster in order to derive more pleasure out of it. The second choice is tough, though not impossible, that is to make a concsious choice and stop scrolling.
Addiction – speedy reward + easy excess
Emotional fat – According to Laura Coe author of the book Emotional Obesity and former VP of fortune 500 healthcare company, Emotional obesity is the layers one after another that cloud our thoughts, judgments, ideas, and fears that cover our authentic selves in the same way that layers of fat might cover our midsections.
Like the physical fat, emotional fat makes you feel lethargic emotionally. An emotionally fat person can not become disciplined in their life. Cause according to Dr.K. discipline is an emotion and without proper emotional regulation it is not possible to get through your life and achieve something.
Relation between reels and resilience –
According to a research study by the Eastern Illinois University on “The Relationship Between Resilience, Coping, and Social Media”. People with mental health issues like depression are more prone to get addicted to social media. And the reverse is also true that people who are addicted to social media are more prone to develop mental health issues like depression.
Short form content impact the coping mechanism of an individual. Making it bad to worst.
When you continuously scroll your attention span gets shorter and so does your ability to be patient, creating a loop of instant gratification.
On Instagram it becomes more dangerous because in addition to being impatient you also start to compare yourself with the best captured moments of other persons life’s. Especially with your friends who are “ having more fun than you on social media”.
In the loop of Swipe, Watch and Repeat your ability to thing, make decision and, to critically think gets hampered. Clouding your original thoughts, ideas, judgments and decisions. While implanting new thoughts, and ideas without giving you the power of making decision for yourself.
Solution
Let’s escape the cycle of Swipe Watch and Repeat
When it comes to escape from this loop remember its a war not mere a struggle of few days. A war between your instant pleasure and your diminishing cognitive abilities.
To win and even survive you need to become a soldier in the hyper stimulating world. Now the solution depends on your level of addiction to the reels how much do you scroll. The solution comes in layers as the emotional fat. Each layer for your needs to get rid of it.
Fundamental layer
Diminishing accessibility – Have you ever noticed that in moments of boredom, stress, or anxiety, the immediate reflex is often to resort to scrolling? It serves as a convenient escape, allowing us to sidestep addressing the root causes of our distress. Albert Einstein once remarked that genius ideas stem from boredom, yet the contemporary tendency is to expend our time simply to avoid experiencing it.
The ubiquity of smartphones amplifies this inclination. In today’s era, we carry a constant source of instant entertainment in our pockets, making it readily available at any given moment. Whether during a brief two-minute break or idle moments throughout the day, the ease of access to this pocket-sized amusement prompts us to engage in scrolling behavior almost reflexively. The allure lies in its proximity, always within arm’s reach, making it a constant companion in our daily lives.
Physical Separation:
Store your smartphone or any tempting device in a designated location that requires some effort to reach. This physical separation can create a barrier, making it less convenient to engage in mindless scrolling.
App Restriction Settings:
Leverage the app restriction settings on your devices. Set specific time limits or use apps that allow you to block certain applications during designated periods. This can help break the habit of impulsive scrolling.
Scheduled Screen Time:
Allocate specific times for digital engagement. By scheduling dedicated periods for screen time, you gain better control over when and how you interact with your devices, reducing impromptu scrolling.
Internet Maturity:
Cultivate a mature and discerning approach to internet usage. Be conscious of the content you consume, question its relevance, and ensure that your online activities align with your goals and values. Internet maturity involves using the digital space thoughtfully and responsibly.
Mitigating Immediate Rewards:
The allure of instant gratification often stems from the deceptive sense of accomplishment derived from completing brief tasks in just a few seconds. This prompts the release of neurotransmitters, creating a reinforcing loop that craves more of these fleeting rewards. To disrupt this cycle, cultivating mindfulness about one’s actions becomes crucial.
Thoughtful Engagement
Commencing this journey involves making deliberate choices, such as transitioning from short, 30-second reels to more substantial, delayed-gratification long-form videos. This shift not only alters the pattern of rapid rewards but also encourages a more sustained and thoughtful engagement. By consciously opting for activities that demand a longer attention span, you begin to recalibrate your brain’s reward system, gradually reducing the dependency on swift and superficial accomplishments. This conscious effort towards delayed gratification fosters a more mindful approach, breaking the cycle of seeking instant rewards and promoting a sense of fulfillment derived from deeper and more meaningful pursuits.
Second layer
Managing Stimulation
Notification Control:
Disable unnecessary notifications to minimize interruptions and the impulse to check your phone constantly. This step helps in reducing the overall stimuli throughout the day.
Brightness Management:
Keep the brightness of your device low to mitigate the stimulating HD effect. Lower brightness levels can positively influence your mood and discourage prolonged scrolling sessions.
Volume Regulation:
Turn off the volume for social media reels or use it selectively. This limits the impact of trendy music that often grabs attention, contributing to a quieter and less stimulating digital environment.
Scheduled Notifications:
Designate specific times to check notifications rather than allowing them to dictate your schedule. This proactive approach reduces the frequency of disruptions and contributes to a more focused and intentional use of your device.
Time Management:
Plan your day in quarters to efficiently allocate time for various tasks. This structured approach helps in keeping track of your activities, ensuring that you stay on course and minimizing the potential for unproductive scrolling.
Blocking Apps:
Employ blocking apps to restrict access to certain apps during designated periods. By setting specific time frames for each application, you can regain control over your digital habits and reduce the temptation to mindlessly scroll.
Final Layer
For severe disruptio in life, consider taking more drastic measures to reduce ease of access.
Delete the addictive apps from your device and, additionally, use private browsing mode.
Logging in through private browsing adds an extra layer of inconvenience, making it harder to impulsively access the platforms.
This deliberate effort creates a deterrent and gives you time to reconsider before engaging in habitual scrolling.
At the end remember I think Therefore I am – René Descartes
CYBER ZEN 